Michael Pollick is the chief archivist of America’s most preventable childhood memories, a man who has stared directly into the abyss of Midwestern–Southern family rituals and said, “Yeah, I can make this funnier.” As the creator of the Collateral Damage Report — a free channel bravely documenting the nation’s most beloved poor decisions — he has dedicated his career to preserving the exact moments that shaped us, scarred us, or sent us to the ER for “observation.”

Raised in the era of lawn darts, unlicensed snack mascots, and gym teachers who believed fear was a teaching strategy, Michael writes with the authority of someone who has personally survived every essay he publishes. His work blends mythic Americana, sepia-toned nostalgia, and the kind of humor that makes readers say, “Oh no… I remember that,” before quietly reevaluating their entire upbringing.